I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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