Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
