I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
