i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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