So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
They have beer where we have blood.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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