thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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