anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
