she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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