Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
