It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
