We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
