it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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