You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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