I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
