Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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