I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
