so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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