So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
