Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
