What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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