Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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