He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
