Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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