her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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