Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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