She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She needs sedatives and a leash
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
