ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
