Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
