i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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