I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
