Christians are straight up FREAKS
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
