Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
