That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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