I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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