so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
