i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
