the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Four minutes until I can fart!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
