dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
