i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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