i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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