grandma shit on top of the toilet
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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