So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
