Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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