that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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