At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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