I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
