Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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