Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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