I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
