Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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