Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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