I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You have to summon your inner elephant
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
