Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
