his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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